Replacing Judgement With Curiosity

Our ability to plan ahead and imagine "what if" scenarios sets us apart from all other living creatures. It’s how we prepare for what’s next, solve complex problems, and avoid mistakes. But this same skill can backfire when we use it to predict other people’s reactions or pre-judge events before they happen.

Take this example: You’re invited to a family gathering, networking event, or conference. Immediately, your mind jumps to assumptions—I probably won’t have fun. I have nothing in common with these people. This will be a waste of time. These assumptions, often rooted in past experiences, can lead you to show up guarded, detached, or even dreading it. And often, those expectations shape the entire experience.

Instead of predicting the outcome, challenge yourself to be more positive and open. A helpful tool is to replace judgments with curiosity. Consider these questions: What if this turns out better than I expect? What might I gain?

Try This Next Time

• Notice your assumptions: When you catch yourself predicting a negative outcome or pre-judging someone, pause. Ask yourself, What am I assuming here? What are the actual facts of the situation?

• Embrace your curiosity: Shift your focus to questions like, What could I learn? Who could I connect with in an unexpected way? What might we have in common?

• Set a simple intention: Decide on one positive action, like starting a genuine conversation or staying open to new ideas. Remember, you don’t need to control how things turn out—just show up fully.

• Reflect on the experience afterwards: Ask yourself, How was the interaction or experience different from my assumptions or predictions? Did I discover common ground with someone I didn’t expect? Did I feel less guarded than I thought I would?

  
  

Replacing judgement with curiosity doesn’t just improve a single interaction or event—it reshapes how you navigate difficult relationships, embrace new opportunities, and tackle challenges across all areas of life. Whether at a family gathering, a networking event, or in everyday interactions, curiosity can open doors you may never have known existed.

And it’s not just about what it changes for you—when others approach us with curiosity instead of judgment, it fosters trust, connection, and a sense of being truly seen. This simple shift can ripple outward, improving relationships and building stronger communities.