New Glasses: Shifting Perceptions for a Clearer View

What if the way we see the world doesn’t quite reflect reality? Our perception—the lens through which we interpret our experiences—is influenced by countless factors: upbringing, past experiences, cultural norms, and the feedback we’ve received from others. Perceptions help us make sense of the world, but they’re not always accurate.

Take this example: A child hesitates to raise their hand in class. We might assume they’re uninterested or disengaged, but maybe they’re just afraid of giving the wrong answer. That assumption can shape how others see them and, over time, how they see themselves.

Our perceptions often solidify into beliefs without us even noticing. These beliefs profoundly shape how we interpret the world, engage with others, and understand their actions. For instance, if someone seems quiet, we might assume they’re disinterested and pull back, unintentionally creating distance. But what if we paused to challenge that assumption and invited in curiosity?

Many of our perceptions, though distorted, feel so accurate that they solidify into beliefs and values that may no longer serve us. Yet when we question them, we open up new ways of seeing ourselves and others.

Fact or Perception?

You believe you’re too unfit to run a marathon. Is that a fact or just a perception? Separate the facts—such as “I’ve never trained before”—from the emotions like “I’m not capable.” Then ask yourself:

• “What if I could train and get fit enough to run?”

• “What’s holding me back? What am I masking?”

• “What could I gain if I proved myself wrong?”

Challenging these assumptions can reveal possibilities you hadn’t imagined.

The Impact on Our Relationships

Outdated beliefs don’t just affect us—they subtly influence how we perceive and respond to those around us.

For instance, if we expect perfection from ourselves, we might unintentionally hold others to impossible standards, creating unnecessary conflict or disappointment. Or, if we believe vulnerability equals weakness, we might struggle to open up, making it hard to build trust.

Our judgments—sometimes rooted in beliefs and values stemming from distorted perceptions—can affect how we engage with others. The good news? We can reframe how we see things and enhance our interactions. Begin with curiosity.

At Work: A team member misses a deadline, and your first thought is, “They're slacking off or aren’t engaged.” But when you check in, you find out they lacked the clarity or tools they needed. By replacing assumption with curiosity, you strengthen collaboration, build trust, and improve the team’s overall process.

At Home: Your child refuses to clean their room. The instinctive thought: “They’re just being defiant.” But what if they’re overwhelmed or don’t know where to start? Try asking: “What’s the hardest part of this for you?” This small shift creates understanding and encourages cooperation instead of conflict.

Try This: A Simple Check-In

The next time you’re faced with an immediate negative thought or emotional reaction, try this:

• Get clear on the facts: What’s true, and what’s just a story you’re telling yourself?

• Replace judgment with curiosity: Ask: “What am I missing?” What underlying emotion may be driving my conclusion—fear, insecurity?

• Open yourself to possibility: What could happen if you saw this differently? What’s the best thing that could come out of it?

  
  

When we take the time to connect with what’s happening within us—our emotions, assumptions, and judgments—we naturally shift how we interact with others and even perceive ourselves. This self-awareness creates space for empathy, growth, and collaboration. Seeing the world through new glasses brings clarity that leads to deeper connections, stronger leadership, and greater fulfillment.